Patience

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A little story …

When my boys were little, we spoiled them with presents at Christmas time – ha, who am I kidding – I still spoil them!

As each year passed, their excitement would build, and their patience would dwindle. Each child yearning to see what Ol’ Saint Nick left for him under the tree, and – no surprise – they would wake us up super early!

Once they could recognize numbers, I quickly taught them that they would have to wait until the first number on the digital clock read 7 before coming in and waking us. I remember so vividly hearing their little whispers in their room as they waited “patiently.”

The clock struck 7, and two little bundles of joy would jump on our bed, followed by a sprint down the hall, as fast as Flash Gordon, into the living room straight to their stockings. Stockings would appease them as I would make a beeline into the kitchen, placing that fabulous smelling black gold into my favorite Christmas mug.

Children tend to be at their best at Christmas time – so proud of my boys to have a bit of patience while being so excited at the same time!

Patience is a virtue.

Who says?

Who gave us this profound cliche? William Langland, in a poem that Google tells me he wrote sometime between 1360 and 1387, Piers Plowman.

You can also find this expression in the bible as well –

22 But the fruit that the Spirit produces in a person’s life is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these kinds of things.
Galatians 5:22-23

However, no matter who said it or where you find your inspiration – apparently patience is a quality that I lack. In fact, my grandmother used to say that this lacking quality was not a very attractive.

Impatient throughout the years.

Babies crying and not sleeping through the night -
    I cry, place a pillow over my head and wish them to be bigger;
Toddlers running in the restaurant, causing a fuss -
    I cringe and apologize and wish them to be bigger;
Teens look at me cross-eyed;
    I close my eyes and ...
My boys are grown, now, and have lives of their own
    I hold my empty hand and wish for younger years

Cats In The Cradle-Harry Chapin

I digress, let’s wipe those tears away and move on.

My grandmother was also not very fond of my wishing the boys to be older, in fact, quite disappointed. Actually, looking back, I’m not either.

Am I kind?

Lack of patience is not a good quality to have. As I get older, I see more and more what she meant, and frankly, I have become quite disappointed in myself and a little sad.

These running thoughts came to mind the other day. I was driving behind someone who was moving … so … slow – yep, they were driving the speed limit (sorry Dad)!

Did I have somewhere fancy to be? Nope, just going home after a quick trip to the grocery store. Woe is me – I was hangry! Not a typo, folks [super hungry plus being cranky = hangry]. Also, not a fine quality of mine.

Which made my mind go down the little side path of wondering, “Am I truly kind?”.

For the most part, I believe that I am a kind individual – I seek to help others, I inspire my readers and followers almost daily on Social Media, I cook fantastic meals for my family every weekend, I adopt fur babies, and I recycle.

There, yes, I have “proven” to those that need to know that I am kind.

Nope, sorry, it’s not quite that easy.

There are people in this world when they get behind someone “driving slow,” aka the speed limit, their attitude does not change – at all. And you know what they do? They slow down, give the person space, and patiently wait until their next turn.

Nope, sorry, not me.

I sigh – I get antsy – I roll my eyes – well, you get the picture.

Again, agreeing with my grandmother here is not an attractive feature – and for some reason, the other day when I did this, it all made me think – what is wrong with me? Am I a kind person or not?

Mr. Rogers always had such kind words; he was so patient and caring – I really enjoyed watching his shows.

Although his words ring to be what, hopefully, the people in our world seek, we have to come to terms with the fact that it simply is not realistic to believe that everyone can exude each of these qualities all of the time. Now that would be a small miracle, wouldn’t it?

With that being said, I do agree with Mr. Rogers in that we should seek to have all of these qualities most of the time, but how?

Change

However, how can I expect to change the world, one person at a time, by helping them Find their Inner Peace and Seek their Inner light if I cannot change this one inferior characteristic of mine?!?

Don’t worry, I am not broken, and neither are you! I do believe in my heart that I am a kind person; I simply must change some of my behaviors.

We chatted a little bit about Change last year as we navigated through the Whole Life Challenge, and as I look back to this article, we can see that I just barely touched the surface.

I fear that I won’t do the topic of change much justice with this article either; we’ll have to dive deeper into it another day, but let’s at least pique our interest.

Transformation

I seek to inspire your holistic happiness, you to be kind, and to encourage you to love others, yes? YES! That certainly is the goal!!

Relax and Exude Patience

Tools

I am excited to provide a few Transformation Tips for you today. We have discussed a variety of inspirational and motivation tools that we have in our virtual toolbox, and hopefully, you will be eager to add these as well.

Trigger Clues

Recently, I learned about “trigger cues” – these can be good and bad.

In my driving example above, the cue resulted in a “bad” reaction on my part. The cue was a slow driver; my reaction was impatience. If I want to change my impatient behavior, I need to replace my “bad” cue with a “good” one.

For example, when I feel those anxious and angry feelings bubble up inside of me I can –

find a song on the radio that will change my mood,
take a deep breath in, hold it, and let it out – repeat,
think of a moment in time where I was gleeful and joyous,
say a prayer, a prayer for forgiveness, and to request strength
create a list of 3 to 5 things that I am grateful for

You can see, that each of these new trigger cues is positive and will eventually correct the negative reaction. It probably won’t happen by doing this exercise just once, but done repeatedly we can learn not to get so frustrated with a situation in the future.

I hope you found this article helpful – please leave feedback and share your personal transformation!